Know your Stars, Danny Phantom Style!
by DivineQueenYeiweh
Summary: The chair is back, and it's going to torment the cast of Danny Phantom, even the pretty minor characters! But one day...that chair is going DOWN! See the humor, the tears, the drama, and the pure unadulerated PG13 horror! Rated mostly for language
1. Danny Fenton

Author's Note: Of course I got the idea of doing this from YGO know your stars. So, Of course, I wanted to do my own version. So, I picked Danny Phantom. Yay! I haven't did one for DP in a while (besides the Box Ghost story I have) so this is long over do in a way. So, enjoy! Danny's alter ego will actually be done separate for this fic. Just as a head's up. The voice is in italics.

Chapter 1-Danny Fenton

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Danny Fenton…has a not so secret crush on Sam Mansion…_

Danny commented, "Oh come on, it can't be THAT obvious. Plus, I'm trying to date other girls so I won't ruin our friendship…"

_Danny Fenton…still sleeps with his parents when he has a nightmare…_

"UGH! That is SO not true!"

_Danny Fenton…practices making out with his teddy bear…_

"You're crazy! I don't do that!"

_Danny Fenton…has a secret crush on Vlad Masters…_

"You nasty…I'm not gay…"

_But you can't help but to love his hair that flows in the wind…_

"Stupid…I like girls…and you know it!"

_Danny Fenton…likes to listen to his sister's Britney Spears CD's…_

"Oh God! I hate that music! Why would I listen to that!"

_Danny Fenton…wishes he could BE Britney Spears…_

"The only thing I wish is for you to shut up!"

_Danny Fenton…has unresolved childhood issues…"_

"What the hell?"

_Danny Fenton…was abused by his parents…_

"That's not true! My parents love me!"

_That's what they want you to think…_

"You're the most insane person I've ever met! And I met a LOT of insane people!"

_Danny Fenton…wishes he were as smart as Tucker…_

"Oh come on! Tuck gets the same kind of grades I do! He's just better at technology! That's why people call him a Techno Geek."

_Danny Fenton…sucks his thumb when he sleeps at night…_

"Yeah right! Like you have poof or something…

(A picture of Danny sleeping and sucking his thumb is now shown on the screen. Danny seethes with anger.)

_Danny Fenton…couldn't give a damn whether his friends live or not…_

"Now THAT is DEFINITELY not true!"

_Danny Fenton…still wets the bed at night!_

"That's it! You're going DOWN!"

_And now you know…Danny Fenton…_

"No they don't you baka! I'm going ghost!"

_Oh goody! Another pathetic soul to pick on. Tune in for the next chapter as I torture Danny Fenton's alter ego!_


	2. Danny Phantom

Chapter 2-Danny Phantom

(Danny Phantom was now in his ghost mode, and was ready to take on the chair again. He thought that he couldn't say anything bad about his ghost form. Boy, was he wrong…)

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Danny Phantom…is a boy whore…_

"Uh, no I'm not! I'm a ghost! How can I even do that?"

_Danny Phantom…is the naughty side of Danny Fentom…_

"Yeah right…"

_Danny Phantom…likes to watch porn tapes late at night…_

"UGH! GROSS!

_Danny Phantom…wishes that he was a porn star…_

"You're stupid! What part of GHOST don't you understand?

_Danny Phantom…likes to wear Superman tighty whities…_

"No I don't! I wear boxers…

_With little red hearts on them. The ladies love the little red hearts…_

"You're the one that's a pervert! How else would you even know that!"

_Danny Phantom…wants to go out on a date with me!_

"UGH! You're nasty! And sick! And wrong!

_I'm not the one who works at a strip club…_

"I don't work at a strip club…"

_Danny Phantom…his allowance is from a strip club…_

"It is NOT! It's from my parents!

_Danny Phantom…is a really horny ghost!_

"No I'm not. I never even had sex before…you nasty little thing!

_Danny Phantom…died last year and his friends forgot all about him…_

"Now THAT is the stupiest thing I have ever heard!"

_Danny Phantom…is in denial about his death…_

"I didn't die…I had a lab accident. That's where I got my powers…

_That's what they want you to think…_

"You're stupid. Tuck and Sam hang out with me all the time.

_Only a figment of your imagination…_

"No, YOU'RE the figment! Trying to mess with my mind!"

_Danny Phantom…he actually died in the lab accident…_

"No I didn't you baka."

_Danny Phantom…has been striping for theapy!_

"You're stupid…"

_Danny Phantom…if he could…he would join a nudist colony because he just loves to be naked._

"No I don't. That's the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me! That's like my worst nightmare!

_Danny Phantom…loves to be naked in front of fangirls…_

"What's a fangirl? Even if I knew, I don't even like to be naked, much less in front of people, much less in front of a GIRL!"

_And now you know…Danny Phantom…the sex addicted boy who strips to get an allowance and is in denial about his death…_

"No they don't! None of those things are true! You made up the whole thing! I'm going to get you for this you wait and see!

_Meanwhile, I'll continue to torture people! Stay tuned to see what type of damage I can do to Tucker Foley! Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…_


	3. Tucker Foley

Chapter 3-Tucker Foley:

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Tucker Foley…wants to date supermodels…_

Tucker agreed, "Man, that's so true! I just wish…"

_Tucker Foley…doesn't know I'm a supermodel…_

"Who cares…I'm in it for the ladies…

_Tucker Foley…uses the ladies man act to hide the fact he's gay…_

"WHAT? That's not true! Just because I love my PDA…that doesn't make me gay…

_Tucker Foley…he's had a crush on Danny Fenton for years…_

(Danny, who was just about to leave, heard that and exclaimed:)

"UGH! Gross!"

Tucker pleaded, "It's not true! I swear! The chair lies…"

"Yeah, that chair IS retarded. I can't believe that you could say something mean like that about Tuck!

_Awww…don't they make a cute couple…?_

"NO!"

_Tucker Foley…really doesn't want to be Danny's best friend…_

Tucker exclaimed, "Don't listen to him!"

Danny stated, "I'm not. Man, you're worst than the Ghost Writer…"

"And, he's proud of it!"

_I know. Tucker Foley…wants to hump his PDA…"_

Tucker stated, "Ugh, you're gross man…"

_I'm not the one who wants to do that…_

Danny commented, "He doesn't even do stuff like that…

_Tucker Foley…thinks Danny Phantom is hot…_

"I do not!"

Danny reassured, "Don't worry…I don't believe a word he says…"

_Tucker Foley…has a secret shrine to Danny Fenton in his room like Paulina has in her locker!"_

Danny jumped, "Wait, Paulina has a shrine to me? Awesome!"

Tucker commented, "Oh, he believes THAT…"

_Tucker Foley…he wishes that Paulina was out of the picture so that he could make his move on Danny!_

"You have a very sick and perverted mind! I'm gonna go and watch Project Runway so I can see the sexy models now. You can go on with your perverted self, I'm out of here…"

_And now you know…Tucker Foley…_

Danny exclaimed, "For the last time, NO THEY DON'T!"

_Tune in next time as I annoy the heck of Sam Manson…_

"NO! Don't do that! There's gotta be a way to shut you off…now let me go and find it.

_Look all you want and you'll never find it! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!"_


	4. Samantha Manson

Chapter 4- Samantha "Sam" Manson:

Sam, who was looking for Danny and Tuck, found them outside of the studio where the Know your Stars Chair was found. Sam then asked:

"Uh…what are you guys doing?"

Danny warned, "Whatever you do, don't sit down in that chair. The narrator is possessed!"

"Yeah right. I'm a goth. I would know if something is possessed or not. I'm gonna see what this chair is made of!"

"NNNNOOOOOO!"

It was too late, for Sam had already sat down. Then…it began…

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Sam Manson…isn't really a goth._

"Yeah right. Then, explain why I'm wearing all black?"

_Never saw a goth that is also a vegetarian, political activist, and a trend setter…_

Danny commented, "You know, he has a point there…"

Sam challenged, "C'mon! Is that the best you got!"

_Sam Manson…secretly likes to wear pink frilly dresses and have tea parties with her dolls!_

"Yeah right! I HATE pink, and I don't have some stupid dolls lying around.

_Sam Manson…when no one is looking, she likes to play dress up as a princess…in a bright pink gown._

"Okay, that's just stupid. The only time that I wore a pink dress is when Aragon the Dragon Prince kidnapped me. And, I immediately made it BLACK!

(Author's note: Based on the new episode that premiered on Friday.)

_Sam Manson…has a mind of a four-year-old girl!_

"Ha Ha. Very funny.

_Sam Manson…likes to sleep with a cuddly pink teddy bear at night._

"Yeah, you're real hilarious. You are also not fazing me. At all."

_I have proof…_

The screen then shows a picture of Sam sleeping and cuddling a pink teddy bear. Sam replied:

"All you did is doctor an old photo of me! You must really like me!"

Tucker commented, "Or he's nuts. Really really nuts…"

_I believe the name of your teddy bear is…Mr. Snoochums!_

Sam spoke, "What…? How did you know that!"

_So you DO sleep with a teddy bear!_

"I DO NOT!"

_Yes you do! Ha ha ha ha! I've got you now Ms. Sam Manson!_

"Yeah right."

_Sam Manson…isn't really a goth because she's Jewish. Never met a Jewish goth before._

"That's because I'm an individual. That stands out in a crowd. I'm not gonna let people define me…

_So you admit you're not a goth. And that you sleep with a teddy bear. And a pink blankie._

"No. I don't.

_Shibboleth…_

"WTF? Why did you just say something random in Hebrew?"

_I was testing you. Sam Manson…she had to wear a big frilly pink dress to her Bat Mitzvah! Ha ha!_

(Note: Bat Mitzvah is a Bar Mitzvah for a girl.)

Sam stated, "How did you know about that! UGH! That was the worst day EVER!

_But you enjoyed every moment of it. Because you were a princess wearing your favorite pink gown! Look at Ms. Pretty Sammy!_

"I'm gonna kill you!

_And now you know…Sam Manson!_

"No they don't you idiot!"

Sam then proceeds to curse him out in Hebrew, making Danny and Tuck look at her weird.


	5. Jack Fenton

Chapter 5-Jack Fenton

One of Jack Fenton's little detecting devices went off and directed him to the Know your Stars chair, which for some strange reason gave off a very strong ecto signature. A note on the chair stated:

"Sit down, and you'll capture a ghost…"

Jack's eyes lit up at the thought of catching a ghost and immediately sat down. His torture than began:

_Know your stars…know your stars…know you stars…Jack Fenton…is really very bony and thin. He really just wears that big jump suit to hide the fact that he's anorexic…_

"WHAT! That's not true! I cleaned off the family table of it's food by accident once. "Wait a sec…did a ghost just say that…?"

A Ghost then appeared in front of him, looks a bit like the ultimate enemy and the Ghost Writer combined together. He then stated:

"Boo."

Jack yelped and got another version of the Fenton Thermos and pointed it at the ghost that appeared. He asked:

"Who are you…and what do you want with me…?"

_I am the ghost of the Know your Stars chair. I am the spirit that has been relentlessly mocking any who sit in it for years…ever since I got locked inside it and can't ever leave the chair…_

"A Ghost! Finally! Now everyone will know that I'm not crazy!

_You are so incompetent that no one would ever believe a ghost is behind the trickery of the Know your Stars chair…MWA HA HA HA HA!_

"My wife would…"

The ghost then went into the chair again and spoke:

_Jack Fenton…what he doesn't know is that Maddie has been secretly cheating on him to go out with Vlad Masters!_

"You LIE! My Maddie would NEVER do that!"

_Oh yes she would. She got bored with your crackpot theories years ago and wanted to date a sensible man like Vlad._

"You are the most evil ghost ever!"

_I know. Jack Fenton…he's so stupid that he wouldn't even know if HE was a ghost!_

"HEY! I'm not stupid!"

_Yes you are._

"Prepare to eat Fenton Thermos ghost!"

But Jack was so clumsy that he accidentally sealed himself in the Fenton Thermos. The ghost laughed at him and commented:

_And now you know…Jack Fenton…the guy that doesn't even realize that he's a ghost and that his wife is going out with Vlad Masters._


	6. Maddie Fenton

Chapter 6-Maddie Fenton:

Maddie, who was looking for Jack, found his Fenton Thermos right by the possessed Know your Stars chair. Maddie picked up the Fenton Thermos and sat down.

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Maddie Fenton…has been secretly thinking about divorcing Jack Fenton to marry Vlad Masters!_

"That's not true! I love Jack! He thinks I'm hot! Vlad's never say that!

_Maddie Fenton…what she doesn't realize is that Jack lies to her and really doesn't think she's hot…_

"You lie!"

_Maddie Fenton…what you don't know is that she had plastic surgery to make her body look the way it does._

"That's not true! I have more self worth than that you fiend!

_Maddie Fenton…she used to be fat before she had plastic surgery. I mean 500 pounds of fat!_

"UGH! I can't believe you! You're horrible!

_I know. Aren't I great?_

"NO!"

_Maddie Fenton…she doesn't want to tell her kids that their dad is actually Vlad Masters!_

"Screw you!"

_Oh…I bet you'd like to do that with Vlad Masters! You want to urgh to the break of dawn with him!_

"Ugh, you're nasty! He looks like a friggin' old man!"

_Maddie Fenton…what she doesn't know is that Jack Fenton planned the accident on Vlad out of jealousy!_

"That's not true! Jack would never do that! I love my Jack, and my Jack loves me!"

_Maddie Fenton…what you don't know about her is that she actually had two one night stands with Vlad Masters…and that's how she got her two kids._

"UGH! You're nasty! I've only loved one man, and that's Jack Fenton. And my kid's father is Jack Fenton!"

_Have they ever had a DNA test to confirm that!_

"They don't need it because I would never do that!"

_You just don't want to admit to Jack that you've been cheating on him!_

"I HAVE NOT!"

_Maddie Fenton…is in denial over her passion for Vlad Masters!_

"That's it! I'm leaving! You have gone far enough! This isn't over yet!"

_You're right! This isn't over yet! I still have more people to torture!_

"UGH!"

Maddie, carrying the Fenton Thermos, then proceeds to storm out of the room.

_And now you know…Maddie Fenton. Tune in next time as I torture Jazz Fenton and prove that I am really the smarter one! HA!_


	7. Jazz Fenton

Chapter 7-Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton:

Now, it was Jazz's turn to encounter the dreaded Know Your Stars Chair!

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Jazz Fenton…she thinks she's so smart…_

Jazz agreed, "That's because I am!"

_Jazz Fenton…she cheats on all of her tests!_

"That's not true! I study hard for all of those tests!"

_Jazz Fenton…to make her cheating seem worse…Jazz is a grade grubber!_

"I am NOT!"

_Then explain how you got a 105 on your last test…that DIDN'T have bonus answers…?_

"That's because the teacher likes me and wants me to go to an IV league! I don't grub for grades."

_Grade grubber…_

"UGH!"

_Jazz Fenton…she bribes her way smarter brother to do her homework for her…because she's too dumb to do it herself!_

"I do NOT! I would never do that to Danny!"

_Well, if you're so smart…calculate pi out for me…_

"That's impossible! A giant calculator couldn't even do that!"

_Your brother can…_

"Yeah right! He can't even figure out what X is supposed to be in an equation."

_Like you know what it is…_

"Duh…X is the unknown in the equation."

_Wow…Danny must be a good teacher to be able to teach a dummy like you…_

"What did you call me"

_DUMMY! Dum, dum, dummy!_

Jazz got up with a heat and exclaimed:

"WHERE ARE YOU! SHOW YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN SAY THAT TO MY FACE! I DARE YOU TO!"

The ghost of the Know your Stars chair then appeared and got real close to her face. He then commented:

_Dummy_

"Ghost!"

_See you ARE stupid…otherwise you wouldn't even be surprised. Your brother IS the smarter one._

"I'm gonna tell him about you so that he can kick your butt!"

_Like he would believe someone as stupid as you!"_

Jazz then stomped out in a burning rage. The ghost then returned inside of the chair and commented:

_And now you know…Jazz Fenton. Stay tuned next time as I take one the students of Casper High like Dash, Paulina, and Valerie! Oh, the joy. And stayed tuned after that as I start to pick on the ghosts! Tell me who of the students you want me to torture first! I love requests of torture! Mmmm…they're so yummy!_


	8. Paulina

Okay, this time I really didn't update because I was honestly busy with college and stuff. Which is surprising even for me. Anywho, here's the latest chapter. Some of this is written by Queen S of Randomness 016. You have to give credit to the person, and I will indicate the part that she wrote. If anyone else has any ideas on how to torture the unwary victims of Danny Phantom, feel free to submit your idea. And don't worry, I give credit to everyone as the readers of Revenge of the Box Ghost BEWARE know. And, by an overwhelming vote, I shall torture Paulina first. I had some votes for Dash, so don't worry…he'll get his! MWA HA HA HA! (cough) Anywho, on with the chapter!

Chapter 8:Paulina (no last name):

Despite many attempts of Danny trying to warn Paulina about the Know your Stars chair, she still went in and sat down anyways in hopes that she would meet the ghost boy. But then, the ominous voice began the torture:

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Paulina…what you don't know is that her last name is Fenton!_

Paulina stated, "Is NOT! I could never share a last name with that loser!"

_Paulina…secretly wants to get married to Danny Fenton…_

"No I DON'T! I want to marry the Ghost Boy!"

_Paulina…pretends to like the Ghost Boy to cover up her true affection for Danny Fenton!_

"UGH! You're crazy!"

_Didn't hurt me when my mother told me that, doesn't hurt me now! But this proves one thing…_

"What's that? That you're a heartless bastard?"

_This proves that…_

Queen S of Randomness 016:

_Paulina...is nothing but a huge liar..._

"No I'm not!"

_Uh-huh...sure you're not...Paulina...what you don't know is that she's really the UGLIEST person in the_

_world!_

"I am NOT!"

_That's just one of your stupid lies...Paulina... she only THINKS that she's_

_the most liked person in the world..._

"That's because I AM the most liked person in the world..."

_No...That's just another one of your lies..._

DivineQueenYeiweh:

"NO!"

_Paulina…what you don't know is that her father spent over $3,000,000 on Paulina JUST for her plastic surgeries!_

"Yeah right. Like I would ever do that. I was born beautiful and the queen of the world."

_Yeah, queen of ugly liar world. Paulina…this is what she looked like BEFORE plastic surgery…_

A picture then shows up on the screen of someone that looks similar to Paulina…but the most butt ugly thing you have ever witnessed. Human eyes almost cannot behold the ugly. Paulina screamed and the fainted. The voice continued:

_And now you know…Paulina…or should I say…Paulina Fenton…the ugly liar wife of Danny Fenton._

Danny Phantom then flew in and picked up Paulina. He yelled at the ghost of the Know your Stars chair:

"What did you do to her!"

_What! I was just having some harmless fun!"_

"Harmless my ass! You will regret this! I promise you will!"

While Danny flew away holding Paulina in his arms the voice yelled after him:

_Ooo! I'm so scared!_


	9. Dash Baxter

Epobbp and Queen S of Randomness 016 basically wrote this chapter for me, so give them your thanks. I only wrote a little bit. But I'm thankful since it probably wouldn't have gotten done until after spring break. So, enjoy.

Chapter 9-Dash Baxter:

And know, it was Dash's turn to be taunted by the spirit of the Know your Stars chair…

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Dash Baxter…is really a very puny boy…_

Dash replied, "I am NOT! I work out everyday!"

_Yeah…sure you do…with a stick and two marshmallows…_

"What the hell? I hate marshmallows…"

_Dash Baxter…what you don't know about him is that he is really in a robotic suit he got from Skulker so it makes him look strong but he's really a weak little puny boy._

"I AM NOT PUNY! AND WHO IS THIS SKULKER PERSON! and what's robotic mean?"

_You should know…geek…you only pick on other geeks so that no one will find out your secret and make you unpopular again! Of course your puny. That's why you paid skulker to make you look like that. Your really under 1/2 that size!_

"I'M NOT PUNY!"

Dash Baxter...he's not really the star jock...he's actually the president of

the Casper high geek club..."

"That's just one of your fictional lies"

_Dash Baxter…he actually said something smart for a change! But you do realize that_

_fictional & lies are practically the same thing right?"_

"Was that sarcasm? Not that I know what that word means…"

_Dash Baxter…he's smarter than you think he is…geek…_

"I AM NOT A GEEK!"

_Sure…keep on telling yourself that…Dash Baxter…what you don't know about him is that...he likes to scrub his mom's feet..._

"no I don't! That's the sickest thing ever!"

_Sure you don't...that fact is as true as the fact that you DONT collect little pink teddy bears..."_

"Exactly…I mean…NNNNOOOOO!"

_Dash Baxter…he pretended not to_ _catch the sarcasm in my statement..._

"Whatever man…I'm out of here…"

_And now you know…Dash Baxter…the wimpy geek!"_

"NO THEY DON'T! I'M NOT A WIMP! AND A GEEK!"


	10. Valerie Gray

I liked to thank katiesparks for this chapter's hilarious idea. By request, I will do Mr. Lancer next! But now, I present to you:

Chapter 10: Valerie Gray:

Valerie Gray heard rumors of the Know your Stars chair from various victims of it, and the rumor of it being haunted by a ghost. Being the ghost hunter that she was, she went to the stage where the chair was and sat down, hoping to capture the ghost of the Know your Stars chair. It began….

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Valerie Gray…she likes to listen to 50 cent in her spare time…_

Valerie replied, "Ugh, no I don't GHOST! I hate 50 cent! His lyrics are so dirty!"

_Valerie Gray…she wishes a guy would do something like the lyrics to her…_

"UGH! You're nasty!"

_Yes…I know. It's my job! Valerie Gray..she loves ghosts! Especially Danny Phantom who she secretly has a crush on._

"NO I DON'T! I HATE GHOSTS! ESPCIALLY DANNY PHANTOM!"  
_Valerie Gray...what you don't know about her is that she wants to do it with Danny Phantom!_

ARE YOU INSANE? NO I DON'T! I rather die a thousand deaths than to…do IT with that stupid little halfa…"

_Valerie Gray…she has sexual fantasies about Danny Phantom doing it with her…_

"No I don't! I would have to be on some serious drugs to even think about that!

_Valerie Gray…she takes drugs to inhance her sexual fantasies about Danny Phantom…_

"WHY YOU LITTLE! I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

_How can you get me when you can't see me…?_

"Man! You are worst than that sorry little halfa!"

_Valerie Gray…what you don't know about her is that she pleasures herself and fantasizes that Danny Phantom is the one pleasuring her…_

"EWWW! I'm not a horny bastard like YOU are!"

_Yes, but I'm not the one who had a one-night stand with Danny Phantom!_

"I did NOT have a one-night stand! I don't even know what that is!

_Valerie Gray…she had her first time with Danny Phantom and got an orgasm out of it…_

"WHAT! THAT'S JUST CRAZY TALK THERE!"  
_Valerie Gray..what you don't know about her is…that she's pregnant with Danny Phantom's child!_  
NO I'M NOT!"

_Then explain why you look a little ROUND in the middle?_

"So I have too much junk food. I just have a low metabolism. Plus, I'm on my period

right now! Plus, I never even had sex before, and don't want to 'till I'm MARRIED!"

_Sure…just keep on telling yourself that…and now you know…Valerie Gray. Danny_

_Phantom's lover and barer of his child…_

You're gonna get yours ghost! You wait and see!

_I'm so scared! Mother of Danny Phantom's Child!_

"UGH! "

Valerie Gray stormed out of the stage, thinking of ways to do the ghost in. He just

cackled evilly and stated:

_Tune in next time as I take it to the extreme with Mr. Lancer! And after, I will mock the_

_ghosts of the ghost zone!_


	11. Mr Lancer

Author's Note: Some of the jokes are based off of the new episode of Danny Phantom called Kindred Spirits. And yes…Dani Phantom, the new ghost girl…is going to get her dose of terror from the Know your Stars chair! But for now, you're stuck with Mr. Lancer!

Chapter 11-Mr. Lancer:

Mr. Lancer wanted to suspend whoever was behind the Know your Stars chair so he went in to face it. Then, it began:

_Know your stars…know you stars…know your stars…Mr. Lancer…he thinks that yelling out random book titles is cool!_

"Why as a matter of fact I do!"

_Mr. Lancer…he could get a date to save his life!_

"That's not true! I am quite the dashing man!"

_Yeah…in your mind…Mr. Lancer…he descended from a big hairy ape!_

"What? How is that? I don't believe in evolution…"

_Then explain your hairy back…_

"That was the result of puberty for crying out loud!"

_Mr. Lancer…what you don't know about him is that he is still going through puberty as we speak!_

"That's not true! I stopped when I was like 18!"

_Sure…just keep telling yourself that…old man…_

"WHAT? What did you just call me?"

_Old man…_

"GUH…."

_Old man, old man, old man, old man, old man, old man…_

Mr. Lancer stood up and cried out:

"Where are you punk! No one calls me OLD MAN! Come out! Show yourself!"

The ghost of the Know you Stars chair appeared in front of Mr. Lancer and stated:

_You rang…?_

What? You're not some punk kid! You're a ghost!"

_Know it…fear it. Old man…_

"To Kill a Mockingbird! YOU! I swear I will vow my revenge!

_Oh I'm so scared! Many have vowed revenge on me and have yet to succeed! And now you know…Mr. Lancer…the old man that's still going through puberty!_

"I AM NOT AN OLD MAN!"

_Just keep telling yourself that!_

The ghost returned to the chair and stated:

_That felt good. Anyone have any requests for who I should torture next? Or perhaps the clever things that I should say to them? Send it in a review! Because I live to torture. Join me next time to see your thoughts turned into actions!_


	12. The Box Ghost

Well, by an overwhelming vote…I shall torture…the Box Ghost next! BEWARE! I almost don't want to torture him since I like the Box Ghost…but if it pleases my audience…sacrifices MUST be made. Vlad was a close shoo in, so I'll be torturing him next. Then, the third place vote of Dan Phantom. But for now, here's Chapter 12! BEWARE!

Chapter 12-The Box Ghost:

Then…it was the Box Ghost's unfortunate luck to find the Know your Stars chair…cleverly disguised as a box. The Box Ghost sat in it…and it bounded him to the chair. Then…it began:

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…The Box Ghost…what you don't know about him is that he likes to hunt circles! 

"That's not true! My passion is boxes, for I am the Box Ghost!"

The Box Ghost…what he doesn't know is that saying that and beware gets very old very fast.

"No it doesn't! That's what made the Lunch Lady fall in love with me!"

The Box Ghost…what you don't know is that he doesn't love the Lunch Lady…he loves Skulker!

"What! How could I love someone that always bosses me around?"

Then why are you always hanging around him, hmm? 

"Because, it's better to work for him than to be his wall trophy! I belong in boxes, for I am the Box Ghost!"

Sure…just keep on telling yourself that. And that's coming from the same guy that wanted to possess mechanical frogs!

"I was depressed when I wanted to do that! Plus…I wanted to get on Danny Phantom's nerves…"

Like you get on everyone else's nerves… 

"HEY! I DO NOT!"

Right…and I'm the Holy Ghost…sure…The Box Ghost…what you don't know about him is that he's a hobo…

"What? That's not true! I also live with the Lunch Lady so how could I be a hobo?"

Then why do you live in a BOX!" 

"I don't live in one, I just possess boxes, for I am the Box Ghost! BEWARE!"

Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that…hobo… 

"I AM NOT A HOBO! LET ME GO!"

No way…torturing you is WAY too fun! 

"Who are you that likes to torture so much?"

The ghost of the Know your Stars chair then appeared and stated:

Hello hobo… 

"Gasp! You're a ghost! Just like me! BEWARE!"

The ghost waved his hand to release the clasps on the Box Ghost. He then stated:

"Now go and tell them!"

The Box Ghost then flew away. The ghost laughed and said:

"That should bring me more victims to torture!"

The ghost then returned to the chair and spoke:

_Have any ideas on how to torture my next victim? Send them in a review!_


	13. Vlad Masters

Author's note: I'm gonna mock both Vlad Masters and Vlad Plasmius in the same chapter because I'm feeling lazy…

Chapter 13-Vlad Masters:

Vlad Masters being the clever guy he is, loved to torture that the ghost of the Know your Stars chair was dishing out and went to be he was found to hire him. Little did he know that the ghost would target Vlad next. Vlad sat down on the chair, and the ghost began his usual torture:

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Vlad Masters…he loves cats… 

Vlad stated, "No I don't! I hate cats! Although I DO like dogs…"

Then why do you have posters of cats in your mansion? 

"I DO NOT!"

The monitor then showed Vlad's room, which not only had posters of cats and kittens, but a kitty bedspread and a kitty rug. Vlad nervously stated:

"That's not my room…that's Danielle's room! Danielle is my female clone of Daniel!"

Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that cat boy! Vlad Masters…not only does he love cats…he DATES one!

"That's not true! Why would I date a cat when I could date any other ghost in the ghost Zone? I'm just pissed because my Maddie didn't take me in…"

Vlad Masters…not only does he date a cat…he's the gayest ghost in the Ghost Zone! He dated Technus, Skulker, and his greatest love is Danny Phantom! Why else would he try to clone him?

Vlad stood up in a heat and changed into his ghost form. Vlad exclaimed:

"That is the last straw! Show yourself ghost!

Vlad Plasmius…he looks like a Dracula wannabe! 

"Where do you get this crap from?"

Well, I'm not the one wearing PLASTIC FANGS… 

Vlad touched his fangs and stated:

"These aren't plastic…and I can bite you with them!"

Vlad lunged at the chair and bit it. The ghost appeared above him. Vlad said with his mouth full:

"Oh butternuts!"

The ghost then hit Vlad over the head and dragged him off the stage. The ghost returned to the chair and stated:

_And now you know…Vlad Masters and Vlad Plasmius the ghost who loves cats and dates them and loves Danny Phantom! And if he were conscious, he would probably say something like "No they don't" Ah…classic. Stay tuned when I torture Dan Phantom…the evil future version of Danny Phantom! Have ways for me to torture him or funny torture dialogue material? Send it in a review. And thank you for over 100 reviews. I feel so loved. Keep the torture coming! BWA!_


	14. Dan Phantom

Author's Note: Yes! Another update in a matter of days! Don't you guys feel lucky? But I had so many ideas from you guys for torturing Dan Phantom that I just HAD to update. I want to thank Super E-man for co-writing this chapter. See I didn't forget your ideas, I just had them on reserve. Also…I think this chapter will be longer than usual because of all the ideas! So…enjoy this chappie!

Chapter 14-Dan Phantom:

The evil future version of Danny was free from the Fenton Thermos and wanted to seek the ultimate revenge on young Danny. Dan, hearing about the torture that the ghost of the Know your Stars chair was dishing out, evil thoughts ran through his mind. He went to the Know your Stars chair and sat down to see whether the ghost was worthy of torturing Danny. It began once again, this time Dan Phantom being in the hot seat:

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Dan Phantom…_secretly loves the Fright Knight!

"No, I don't! Where'd ya get that idea!"

_Well, you both are evil, and would make a good couple!_

"You're retarded."

_I know you are, but what am I?_

"Retarded."

_Dan Phantom...he thinks Mr. Lancer is hot!_

"EW! Only his mother would think he's hot! GOD!

_Then you must be his mother because you just love Mr. Lancer. And you think his back hair is sexy!_

"Don't make me use my ghost wail on you!"

_Dan Phantom...he secretly wants a cute little puppy!_

Dan Phantom gives off a girly giggly squeal and a fangirl scream. He then states:

"Ohh, I love puppies! I mean…NO!...cease with the torturing!

_No way…torturing you is way too much fun! Torturing is what I live for!_

"What kind of sick twisted being are you?"

_The being of your dreams! You know you love my torture! Dan Phantom...he has pictures of Clockwork showering all over his room!_

"THAT'S SICK! YOU ARE A PERVERTED FAG!

_Takes one to know one!_

"Why you..."

_Dan Phantom...he loves the Wonder Pets theme song!_

"You bet! I mean...NO I DON'T!"

The Wonder Pets theme song plays in the background, and Dan starts singing along with it! The ghost of the Know your Stars chair laughs insanely at this, causing Dan to stop. Dan quickly commented:

"But I only know that from…my daughter that no one knows about."

_You don't HAVE a daughter! But I know what you DO have! Dan Phantom…he has every care bear and Barbie doll ever made!_

"WTF? No I don't! I told you! That's my daughter!"

_That you made up in your mind! BWA! Dan Phantom…he is really ugly…but he didn't need me to tell him that!_

"You know what, you suck!"

_Thank you…Dan Phantom…he secretly plays Dr. Drakken from Kim Possible!_"

"No I don't! That stupid ass is lame!"

_Then explain why you have BLUE SKIN…?_

"Because I fused with Vlad Plasmuis you idiot…"

_Oh, you 'fused' with him alright…fused with him in bed! Dan Phantom…not only does he have every care bear and Barbie ever made, but he also has a teddy bear named Mr. Wuffles!_

"No I don't! I got rid of that thing a long time ago!"

_Then explain why it's in your pocket?_

Dan looked over to see that there was a teddy sticking out of his pocket. He fumed at this. He then exclaimed:

"CURSE YOU GHOST OF THE KNOW YOUR STARS CHAIR! YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT….BUT YOU'RE NOT…

Dan floated away thinking that not even Danny Phantom deserved the torture of this guy. The ghost stated:

_And now you know…Dan Phantom! Tune in next time as I take on Pariah Dark also know as Fright Knight next! And keep the funny coming!_


	15. Pariah Dark

Author's Note: You all….have been PUNK'D! Pariah Dark and Fright Night ARE two different people! That was a test to see if you were REALLY paying attention, even to my meaningless rants. And to all who got that….FREE COOKIES! rains down cookies from heaven Ah….that was funny, but I think I scared some of you with my punk'd material. Ah, classic. Well anyway, here's the next chapter! Oh, and you might want to grab some cookies before everyone else eats them:

Chapter 15-Pariah Dark:

Well, it was Pariah's turn to be in the Know your Stars hot seat. He got there by random chance. So, without further ado, let the torture begin!

_Know your stars…know your stars…know you stars…Pariah Dark…he wears a high tech suit like Skulker to make himself feel better!_

"No I don't! I'm like this naturally! I don't need no stinkin' suit to make myself feel high and mighty like I am!

_Pariah Dark…he likes to hump the Fright Knight's horse…_

"UGH! No I don't! I'm not crazy!"

_Pariah Dark…he 'pleasures' himself with the Fright Knight's horse and likes to live out his sexual fantasies on it!_

"UGH! That's bestiality you perverted bastard!"

_Well I'm not the one who's humping a horse, now am I? Pariah Dark, he dresses the Fright Knight in a kilt because he really loves to look up dresses!_

"What! Where the hell did you get THAT idea? I have better things to do than to look up a skirt. Like….hmmm….let me think….BE THE RULER OF THE GHOST ZONE? BWA HA HA HA HA HA!"

_Pariah Dark…what he doesn't realize is that he will NEVER be ruler of the Ghost Zone!_

"That's not true!"

_Pariah Dark…he couldn't rule the Ghost Zone because the Holy Ghost does!_

"Stop reminding me! If only He weren't God, I would be ruling the Ghost Zone!"

_Pariah Dark…what he doesn't realize is that he is really a complete loser and wimp under that high tech battle suit of his…_

"I am NOT wearing a battle suit!"

_Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that horse boy. But Yahweh God rules…not you…_

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer! I promise that I will get my revenge on you!

_Like I haven't heard that before…_

"GRRR!"

Pariah Dark stormed off of the stage in hot head. The ghost laughed and stated:

_Ah, this never gets old. And now you know…Pariah Dark, the horse humping suit wearing loser that couldn't rule his own life to save it! Stay tuned next time as I target the young unsuspecting Dani Phantom, the female clone of Danny Phantom. Feel free to send ANY torture material, dialogue, and more suggestions of people to go after. And I shall not rest until I went after everyone! MWA HA HA HA HA!_


	16. Dani Phantom

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating in a while, but I had finals. I'm all done now, but my time will now probably be occupied with a summer job. Why did I get out so early? That's college for you. Not to complain, I do enjoy the extra time of. But enough of my note, let's insult another victim! And thanks again for all of the reviews (gives out more cookies)

Chapter 16-Dani Phantom:

So, the next person or ghost that would fall into the grip of the Know your Stars ghost was none other than the female clone of Danny Phantom. Dani unsuspectingly got a note from some people to go to where the chair was. Probably because a lot of the ghosts of the Ghost Zone don't like her. Gee, I wonder why. Anyway, they have to be pretty desperate or cruel hearted to want to send her to the torture that is the Know your Stars chair. She sat down, and it began:

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Dani Phantom…she's nothing but a Mary-Sue…

"Hey! I'm not a Mary-Sue! Some boy gave me a love note saying that he wanted to meet me here…."

_What boy in his right mind would want to date you?_

"Hey! That's mean!"

Well, I'm saying it since the other ghosts won't. They are the ones that gave you that letter. Because you are obnoxious and selfish, and you get on everyone's nerves. Get over yourself…Mary Sue…

"Dang, why do you have to be so mean? I'm telling my dad!"

Your dad didn't give a damn about you. You were just a ploy to lure in Danny Phantom, his love…

"UGH!"

Dani Phantom…what you don't know about her is that she wants to be like Mr. Lancer. Hairy back and all!

"You're sick! That hair is icky!"

Mary sue…Dani Phantom…she never turns into goo…that wetness that you see is her wetting herself!

"What? I don't wet myself! I'm 12 for crying out loud!"

_Then explain why your pants are wet in THAT area?_

"Because the water fountain squirted on me…"

_A likely story…Dani phantom...what you don't know is that she tried to go emo after learning she was a failed clone..._

"What's an emo? Is that some kind of bird?"

_And apparently she's stupid since she's talking about an EMU! Dani Phantom…she's just a wannabe little girl that couldn't ever be anything but a Mary-Sue!_

"You're mean! Maybe I should get Danny to hurt you instead!"

_I already took care of your young friend. It was a pleasure torturing him, and I'm getting the most pleasure torturing YOU!_

"WHY!"

_You're too easy of a target! Dani Phantom…she has no fashion style…just look at that suit!_

"HEY! This suit is highly fashionable!"

_Dani Phantom…she's nothing but a loser Mary-Sue that will eventually turn into a pile of goo…which will be her own urine…_

Dani then gets up from the chair and runs away crying. The ghost of the Know your Stars chair cackled evilly and stated:

_And now you know…Dani Phantom. Tune in next time as I target Ember Mc. Lame! And keep on sending in that delicious torture material!_ _And thanks for almost 150 reviews! Delightful…simply delightful!_


	17. Ember McLain

Author's Note; Sorry for not updating in a while but I was really busy working on a big AMV project and it took up all of my attention. But anyway, I don't really know how to spell Ember's last name. So don't sue me for the typos. Other than that, enjoy Ember's torture!

Chapter 17-Ember McLain:

So, without further ado, let's get to the Ember torture!

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Ember McLain…she might dress like a punk, but she sings like a prep!

Ember exclaimed, "Hey!"

Ember McLain…she didn't die in a fire…she died in a freak piano accident… 

"No I didn't. Why would I sing about a fire if I didn't die in one? Dipstick…"

Takes one to know one prep. Ember McLain…what you don't know about her is that she secretly lusts after Sam Manson.

"Who's that?"

Oh yeah, real mature, pretending like you don't know whom your not so secret love is. If you didn't know who she was, why would you write a song about her? 

"I never wrote a song about a person named Sam…."

A Monitor zooms down and plays a video of Ember singing about and to Sam. She then yelled:

"That wasn't me! That must've been my evil twin sister!"

Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that. Ember McLain…not only does she lust after Sam, but she lusts after the Lunch Lady!

"Now that's insane! I couldn't love that old geezer if she was the last person on earth!"

Well then, should I tell the Lunch Lady that you also have a secret passion for Youngblood?

"UGH! NO! I only worked with that whiny little brat because he hates adults as much as I do. And I couldn't love the Lunch Lady cuz I'm not gay and she's an adult!"

Then why would you want to hump Youngblood you little pedophile! 

"UGH! I don't you sick bastard! YOU do!"

Highly unlikely since I only exist to torture.

"That's sick and wrong."

But that's everyone loves this story! Ember McLain…not only does she have a thing for the Lunch Lady, but to make matters worst, the Lunch Lady is her mother! 

"No she's not! I never had a mother!"

Then how do you know I'm not lying? 

"I hate you."

Oh goody, another fan! Ember McLain…she went out with Johnny 13 behind Kitty's back only as a distraction so that Kitty wouldn't find out Ember loves her.

"You are the sickest little bastard I have ever met."

Thank you, I take that as a compliment. Ember McLain…she loves Klemper. That's why she dyed her hair blue!

"I could never love that annoying little dweeb!"

Ember McLain…her secret dream is to have Dan Phantom's white hair, beard and all! In fact, she wants to have a sex change operation to be changed into a guy!

"Where the hell do you come up with these things?"

From the author and reviewers. Ember McLain…what you don't know about her is that she only became a singer so that she could subliminally infuse her songs with messages about not doing drugs and converting to a Jehovah Witness…

"What's a Jehovah Witness?"

Ha Ha, very funny. Ember McLain…she's secretly a bible thumping Jehovah Witness, and she only became a singer to convert everyone instead of moving door to door.

"Why the hell would I care about something like that? Like I care about telling people not to do drugs. Plus…like I said…dunno what a Jehovah Witness is. Is that a band?"

_That's sad. Ember McLain, this is how she REALLY died: She was humming a song on the way to church, and was hit by a piano-hauling semi. And the piano squashed her body. Ember was originally very fat, but the piano squished her into a twig._

"You're stupid."

_You would know since you have to be stupid as well! Ember McLain…she is afraid of Austin Powers. I wonder if I could make her scream if I started to talk like him. Here I go. This should be fun!_

"Why in the hell would I be afraid of Austin Powers?"

_Ember...what you don't know is that she likes to hump fire hydrants!_

"YOU'RE SICK!"

_I'm not the one who likes to hump fire hydrants are I? Ember...she likes to_

_shag Skulker, baby!_

"NASTY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

The ghost of the Know your Star chair then appeared before Ember to continue his torture.

_Peek-a-boo!_

"What the…"

_Ember McLain...what you don't know about her is that she has unresolved childhood issues! That's why she prefers women to men!_

"I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I'M OUTTA HERE!"

Ember storms out of the room while the ghost of the Know your Stars chair returned to the chair and commented:

_That took longer than usual. But more the merrier for my adoring fans. Now who should I go after next? Decisions, decisions. Well, thank you all for more than 150 reviews and over 7,000 hits! Cake for all! BWA HA HA HA HA!_


	18. Sidney Poindexter

Author's Note: OMG….I've been away for what seems like forever, but I'm gonna take a vacation like that until next year. Plus I'm bored so you expect some regular updates from me now. In one short of KYS the KYS person had a son, which will make a short appearance here. His voice is in **bold**. Yeah, it's been too long, so let's get on with it.

Chapter 18-Sidney Poindexter

It was now Sidney Pointdexter's turn to be in the fabled Know your Stars chair. He got a fake ransom note from a desperate kid being bullied. Eager to help, he fell right into the ghost of the KYS chair's trap. Sitting in the chair a new voice greeted him:

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars….Sidney Poindexter….he likes to bully me….**

Pointdexter commented, "NO I DON'T! I HATE BULLIES!"

**Then why are you being mean to me?**

"WTF? How am I being mean to you? I just got here!

**OOOOOOOOO! You said a bad word! I'm telling my dad that you're picking on me!**

"Okay….."

The tiny little ghost kid floated off. Sidney wondered:

"Was that the kid that sent me the ransom note? If so, I think he's highly confused. I vowed my revenge on every bully and I shall reap it!"

The little ghost came back and stated:

**OOOO! You're gonna get it now!**

_Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Sidney Pointdexter…he doesn't realize that he is the real bully…picking on my poor innocent little son_

"Wait a sec? That's you're son? Well hot dog, I didn't know that!"

_Sidney Poindexter...he sprouts wings out of his ass every full moon_

"Where did you get THAT from?"

**ME! How does it feel to be the one that's bullied?**

"What do you mean? I've been bullied all my life! And I don't need to be bullied by someone like you!"

_So you're calling my son a liar? Then the torture shall continue! Poindexter...his hero is Dash Baxter…_

"He's a bully! I HATE bullies!"

_So, do you hate yourself? Because you ARE one…_

"NO I'M NOT!"

_Sidney Pointdexter…he likes to make ice cream in the same of Danny's head_

"Where the hell did you get that from?"

_well you two did have a body experience…_

"What's that supposed to mean…?"

_It means that you a gay bully that like to seduce young boys into doing your will in bed. Pedophile…_

"WHOA! I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!"

_Yes you are…you were trying to not only bully my son but to rape him_

"You know what…I've been bullied by a lot of people, but you are the worst!"

_Thank you. Sidney Poindexter…not only is he a pedophile but is also a drunk. Those cream soda's are really Miller Lite._

"I don't even know what that is!"

_And now you know…Sidney Poindexter…_

"No they don't! All they know is your lies! I vow my revenge!"

Hmm…that was okay. SparkyKnight helped me out with this chapter (she was sitting right next to me o.0) so let's give her a round of applause. I'm going after Skulker next so I'll use the ideas you sent me as well as any new ones. There you go.


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